im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
