party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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