there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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