Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
