It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Randomize
