i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
