sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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