are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I FOUND THE LEGS
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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