i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
