so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
