you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Randomize
