he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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