he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
