we're chasing vodka with high fives
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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