just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
