I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize