Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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