I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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