I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
