Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
