and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
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The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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