I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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