Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
