Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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