I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
