uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
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She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
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I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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