We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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