apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
