I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize