I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
