You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Say something about gay babies.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
