dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
