i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
