my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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