Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
