I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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