my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
