a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
