I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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