anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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