Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
