You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it hurts more in the daytime
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
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