that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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