Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
