I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize