My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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