his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think your dad took our porno
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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