Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
