i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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