i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
