there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
