Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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