We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
