Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
