I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We left the knife in your bed.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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