I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
