The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
