I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
