Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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